Language, no problem!

Bob says: Now we have reached Eastern Europe I can no longer rely on the trusty language of European. For those of you not familiar with modern European, let me explain. This relatively new language is a combination of several languages enabling you to communicate with the majority of Jonnie Foreigner. It has its base naturally in English, then you add a smattering of French, a soupcon of Spanish and then garnish with Italian. This is obviously a very difficult language to master, but one that is truly rewarding. You should see the look of astonishment on the face of Mr Foreigner when it is conversed. One final but very important factor to take into consideration is the accent. The accent, let's call it foreign, has its base in Italian for obvious reasons (I'm sure even the Spanish and French would agree that there are many letters that they fail to pronounce correctly). Unfortunately for the wife, she has failed to master this intricate language, relying simply on the individual languages of the separate countries. This is a mistake, as European is clearly the future.
Number one tip when learning European: You will find a lot of the time that you simply have to make the English word sound foreign. Example: Cigar (English) = Cigaro (Foreign); Beer (English) = Biera(Foreign).
It is my aim now to develop the language of Eastern European . I have already discovered that adding "ski" to a lot of English words helps, and the Slovenians certainly appreciate the effort.
Obviously for future harmony in Europe, the East and West languages will have to be amalgamated. Until then I am conscious of the important work that I am doing. Au revoirski!